Monday, 18 June 2018

Welcome!

Yes, that is me holding a piece of fabric with a picture of what appears to be me printed on it!!! :)

Welp, I guess I'm doing this. I have spent the past 5....7....10? I don't know how many years, thinking about how to share my story without having to find a publisher and make a real book. While my grammar and punctuation is exceptional (thank you OCD), I am kind of lazy (thank you Depression) and as such, I don't want to do things that don't have a guaranteed outcome. A blog has a guaranteed outcome in that at least my loved ones will get some better insight into my life. And maybe I'll share my crafty side along the way!

So the basics: I'm 36 (? I think? I can never remember my age, is that a bad thing?....I was born in 82, so 92, 2002, 2012, there's 30, plus 5 bring us to 2017, I haven't had my birthday yet, woah wait! I'm only 35!!!!), no wait, I'm 35. I am married to my high school sweetheart Jordy, and we have one child. I call her Squishy Kid and will refer to her as that or SK or A in this blog.

I have struggled with mental health for years. I was essentially date raped by a friend of my roommate in university, and spent years thinking I had done something wrong. I never got help because I felt so ashamed of my behaviour. Years later, I know that he was wrong, not me. I am overcoming this skeleton in my closet.

Depression first came to stay with me for a longterm visit after I had my first ectopic pregnancy in 2006. My husband and I were so excited, we had been tracking cycles, and on major body cleanses to ensure our baby only got the best! I found out I was pregnant on my drive home from work one day (I'm a school teacher...well, was.....am-ish....we will get to that!) and we were so excited! It turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy and I was devastated. We'll go more into that later though. That's when Depression first came to visit. It was a long visit and full of lies and deceit. As always, Depression is a big fat liar!

In 2016 I was diagnosed with PTSD, Generalized Anxiety, Depression (again), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), which is similar to OCD but more thought based than action based.

Right now I am off work, getting help weekly from my Psychologist, whom for this blog I will call Dr E. or E. I also saw a psychologist who was an OCD specialist and I will call her Dr P, or P. I see my doctor every week, usually Thursdays or Fridays, and spend my weeks following her assignments and logging my thoughts. This has been very helpful. I will expand on everything in this blog!

I also intend to share the projects I have been working on while I have been off work. My own coping mechanisms have included knitting and sewing, and lots of both! I will share some of my projects here and how they have helped me. Some have been great as something in my hands to fidget with other than my fingers themselves, others have been whole projects dedicated to a specific anxiety or OCD symptom.

I am excited to get sharing and hopefully this will help some of you in your own journey. And maybe, this will help some of my family and friends to understand me a bit better....maybe...

I also foster kittens. This is my own form of therapy and I love it. You will for sure get to see some of my babies!!

This is Tiny snuggling her buddy Stanley. 
Tiny is my baby, Stanley will be going to his new home on June 25th!


 This is Tiny snuggling Mabel. She loves her girl.


These two help me sew all the time. 
That's Mabel on the right, and Stanley in my machine on the left!
These two go to their forever home soon!


This is what my bed looks like most nights. 
We have 4 cats of our own (two seen there, Tiny and Penny), 
and two fosters (both seen there).


Sleepy fosters.


Cuddly fosters. :)


Big boy Béla giving his buddy Stanley a bath. 

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